The Islamic Ruling on Complaining About a Disobedient Child
Sheikh Owaida Othman, Secretary of Fatwa at Egypt's Dar Al-Ifta, stated that a child's disobedience is one of the most painful experiences a parent can endure after years of care, sacrifice, and dedication. He explained that the emotional pain parents feel in such situations is completely natural.
He added that the best course of action is to turn to Allah with sincere supplication, asking Him to guide the child and restore righteousness, citing the Quranic verse:
"I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah."
Is Complaining to People Considered a Lack of Patience?
Sheikh Owaida Othman clarified that complaining to people is not, in itself, considered a sign of impatience. However, it should not become a person's primary habit. Instead, believers are encouraged to place their trust in Allah and rely on sincere prayer.
He noted that there is no harm in a parent confiding in a trusted sibling, relative, or close friend for emotional support or genuine advice, provided it does not become a continuous pattern of public complaint.
Turning to Allah Is the Best Choice
The Secretary of Fatwa emphasized that seeking help from Allah through prayer brings peace to the heart and renews hope for the child's guidance, as only Allah has the power to change hearts.
Never Lose Hope in Your Child's Guidance
Sheikh Owaida Othman stressed that many children realize the seriousness of disobedience only after the passage of time. Some eventually repent, seek forgiveness, and return to honoring their parents.
For this reason, parents should never despair of Allah's mercy or stop praying for their children's guidance and righteousness.
How Should Parents Deal With a Disobedient Child?
Pray Constantly
Continue asking Allah to guide the child and bless them with righteousness.
Be Patient
Remain patient and seek reward from Allah for every hardship.
Continue Giving Gentle Advice
Offer sincere guidance with kindness, wisdom, and compassion.
Never Give Up Hope
Trust that Allah is capable of transforming hearts at any moment.
Supplication Is the Key to Reform
Sheikh Owaida Othman concluded by emphasizing that sincere supplication is among the greatest means of reforming children. Parents should continue praying, maintain hope in Allah's mercy, and remember that guidance is ultimately in His hands.
Is it forbidden to complain about a disobedient son?
No. It is permissible when seeking emotional relief or sincere advice, but turning to Allah remains the preferred approach.
Does complaining indicate a lack of patience?
Not necessarily. However, excessive complaining is discouraged, while patience and prayer are encouraged.
What is the best way for parents to deal with a disobedient child?
Pray for the child's guidance, remain patient, continue offering gentle advice, and never lose hope.
Can a disobedient child change?
Yes. Guidance belongs to Allah alone, and sincere repentance and positive change are always possible.
