Is It Permissible to Cut Ties with a Grandmother Because of Verbal Harm?

Dr. Mahmoud Shalaby, Secretary of Fatwa at the Egyptian Dar Al-Ifta, answered a question regarding the ruling on cutting ties with a grandmother due to repeated verbal harm, after a follower explained that her mother was suffering from hurtful words from her grandmother, which made her consider ending the relationship.

The Fatwa Secretary emphasized that maintaining family ties and honoring relatives are among the matters strongly encouraged in Islam, especially with parents and grandparents, as they are essential foundations for family unity and social stability.

He explained that dealing with harm within family relationships requires balance between preserving kinship ties and preventing personal harm.

The Ruling on Maintaining Kinship Ties Despite Harm

Family ties remain a religious obligation despite disagreements

Dr. Mahmoud Shalaby explained that maintaining kinship ties can take different forms depending on circumstances. It may involve visits, asking about relatives, or maintaining communication through any suitable means.

He pointed out that if there is continuous harm or repeated distress, a person may reduce visits or limit interactions in a way that prevents harm, provided that it does not reach complete estrangement.

He stressed that disagreements or mistreatment do not make cutting family ties permissible, but rather require finding a way to preserve the relationship while minimizing harm.

Honoring Parents and Grandparents Is Among the Greatest Acts of Worship

The relationship between a mother and her own mother falls under honoring parents

The Fatwa Secretary explained that the situation involving a mother’s relationship with her own mother falls under the category of honoring parents, which is one of the greatest obligations in Islam.

He emphasized that experiencing harm does not justify responding with mistreatment, but rather calls for patience and kindness as much as possible, while taking steps to prevent continued harm.

He added that compassion and respect are especially important when dealing with elderly people, as age may sometimes lead to changes in personality or unintended words.

How Islam Addresses Verbal Harm from Elderly Relatives

Compassion and patience are the foundation of dealing with relatives

Dr. Mahmoud Shalaby highlighted that Islam encourages good treatment of parents and relatives even during times of disagreement, citing the Quranic verse:

“And speak to them a noble word.”

He explained that kindness and calm communication can help overcome family disputes and preserve relationships among family members.

Is It Allowed to Reduce Contact with a Harmful Grandmother?

Limiting communication is permissible when harm exists

The Fatwa Secretary confirmed that reducing communication with a grandmother when there is ongoing harm may be a way to avoid damage, as long as the basic relationship is maintained and the matter does not turn into conflict or complete abandonment.

He noted that the goal is to achieve balance between respecting relatives and protecting oneself from harm, which aligns with the objectives of Islamic law in preserving compassion and relationships among people.

Patience with Harm from Relatives Is a Noble Character Trait

Dr. Mahmoud Shalaby concluded by emphasizing that patience in dealing with relatives is among the greatest forms of righteousness, and that responding to harm with kindness is one of the moral values encouraged by Islam.

He explained that maintaining family ties while trying to reduce harm represents the best approach to preserving families and avoiding long-term conflicts and separation.

Is it permissible to cut family ties because of hurtful words?

It is not preferred to cut family ties, but communication may be reduced when there is repeated harm while maintaining the basic relationship.

What is the Islamic ruling on avoiding a grandmother?

The general principle is to avoid complete separation, especially with grandparents, while dealing in a way that reduces harm.

Does mistreatment from relatives justify responding with the same behavior?

No. Islam encourages patience, kindness, and avoiding responding to harm with similar harm.

How should I deal with an elderly relative who hurts me verbally?

It is recommended to respond with patience and compassion while setting boundaries that reduce harm and maintain respect.