Dr. Mahmoud Shalaby, Secretary of Fatwa at Dar Al-Ifta Al-Misriyyah, explained the Islamic ruling concerning a woman who swore before her children that she would not tell their father about a particular matter, but later informed him.
The explanation addressed the ruling on going back on an oath, as well as the nature of agreements between parents and children and when such an agreement should be honored.
What Should Someone Do After Breaking an Oath?
The Secretary of Fatwa explained that if a Muslim swears to do something and later realizes that another course of action is better, the person should choose what is more beneficial while offering the prescribed expiation for the oath.
He clarified that going back on an oath does not necessarily mean that a person has done something wrong simply because they did not follow what they had sworn to do.
A person may realize after making an oath that another option would bring greater benefit or prevent harm. In such a situation, choosing what is better is appropriate, along with fulfilling the required expiation for the oath.
Must a Mother Keep an Agreement With Her Children?
Dr. Mahmoud Shalaby explained that an agreement between a mother and her children not to tell their father about certain matters may be permissible when it concerns simple everyday family issues and keeping the matter private does not cause harm or create a need for the father's intervention.
In such circumstances, honoring the agreement is considered desirable. He referred to the Quranic instruction: “And fulfill the covenant of Allah when you have taken a covenant,” emphasizing the importance of honoring commitments in family relationships.
When Can a Mother Tell the Father?
The situation is different if the matter being kept from the father involves a serious problem or something beyond the mother's ability to handle alone.
If the father's intervention is necessary or would better serve the family's interests, the mother may go back on the agreement and inform him.
In such circumstances, changing the decision is directed toward what is more beneficial for the family. Breaking the agreement is not considered sinful when there is a legitimate interest requiring it, while the required expiation for the oath should still be fulfilled.
Family Interests and Preventing Harm
Dr. Mahmoud Shalaby emphasized that such situations should not be viewed only through the formal obligation to keep an agreement.
The purpose and consequences of the decision are also important. Islamic rulings take into account the achievement of legitimate benefits and the prevention of harm when dealing with different circumstances.
The key consideration in these situations is therefore the general interest of the family. Religious rulings aim to achieve benefit and prevent harm rather than requiring a person to maintain a formal commitment when doing so would lead to an unfavorable outcome or cause harm.
Can someone break an oath if another option turns out to be better?
Yes. If another course of action is better, the person may choose it while fulfilling the required expiation for the oath.
Is breaking an agreement with children always sinful?
No. The ruling depends on the nature of the agreement and its consequences, particularly when a legitimate interest requires changing it.
Can a mother tell the father about something she agreed to keep from him?
She may do so when the matter is significant and the father's intervention is needed to achieve a legitimate benefit or prevent harm.
What should someone do after breaking an oath?
If the oath was binding and was violated, the prescribed expiation for the oath should be fulfilled.
What should guide decisions in such family situations?
Relevant benefits and potential harm should be considered rather than focusing solely on the formal wording of an agreement.
